Bullshit Bingo

I was sat in the beer garden of a bar in Southwark on Friday evening, waiting for some friends - but couldn't help but be drawn into the hilariously "serious' conversation of two businessmen bellowing at each other in loud and nonsensical business cliches, while I waited.
I really wish I could have written it all down as it was pure comedy gold (and I love it when people really feel they have to be heard by everybody else in a bar or restaurant, as it usually means they're idiots) - lots of stuff about "managing upwards", working in a "matrix" (I thought that was fiction I must admit) and "kicking shit in the UK division". But the bit that really got me (and I hope their business isn't involved in any kind of Physics discipline) was when one of them banged out in a gloriously pompous voice a phrase to describe his position in the company; "Yeah, well that's the thing - the gravitational field is much stronger the closer you are to the magnet..."

Tosser.