Anthony Davidson Back Behind The Wheel

I was hugely disappointed when Ant Davidson slipped out of F1 with the collapse of the Super Aguri team in 2008. He was always one of my favourite drivers of the modern era; a great racer and a great developer/tester too... your kind of ideal man in any team really.
(And also someone pretty much devoid of ego - very refreshing and likeable in today’s F1).
The good news - apart from the fact that he’s a brilliant commentator (press your red button on the BBC’s F1 coverage and get swapping the audio channel to him and David Croft on Radio 5 Live!) is that he still has his hand in as a driver, and now there’s some great news of his entering one of motorsport’s legendary annual events this coming month.

Aston Martin Racing recently confirmed that Ant will be one of three new drivers recruited to enable the team to run a trio of Gulf-liveried LMP1 cars at this year’s Le Mans 24 Hours, which marks the 50th anniversary of Aston Martin’s first victory at La Sarthe in 1959. Joining the existing Aston Martin drivers along with Ant will be Stuart Hall (GB) and Jos Verstappen (NL).
Ant recently tested Aston Martin’s LMP1 car in Portugal, completing three one-hour stints and is a familiar face in this category of motorsport as he worked with the team in 2003, racing at Le Mans, Sebring and Petit Le Mans in the GT class.

“Particularly as a British driver, racing for a team as prestigious as Aston Martin is a fantastic opportunity,” says Ant... “I know the team and its capabilities extremely well from the past, and I’m convinced that there is nobody better prepared to tackle all the challenges that Le Mans will present us with. At the test I felt comfortable with the car straight away, and now I’m looking forward to taking the fight to the other teams at Le Mans. I’m certainly aiming for us to be the quickest petrol car there and hopefully we can get in amongst the diesels as well.”

The Le Mans 24 Hours race takes place on 13-14 June.

Best of luck Ant - hope you do brilliantly :-)

Mac Keyboard Skull Shirt

Okay... Weird headline... Sounds a bit random stream of consciousness I know.
Sorry but couldn't think of a better 'short' way of putting it.

Think I may have to treat myself to one of these for the summer...
A funky t-shirt off the Red Bubble website - by a Brighton designer called Roger - featuring a skull made out of two sets of Mac keyboards.
The white keys come from an extended white Mac keyboard; the black keys were taken from the original iMac.
To check it out in full, or indeed to go buy it, you should click here...

Okay - since I started writing that, I succumbed to temptation and bought it.
Feel much better for doing so. You probably should too...


Spotted on Cult of Mac

Animals On The Underground

I had one of those random synaptic firings after I posted the piece on TFL's "Departure Boards" web tool - which reminded me of the excellent Animals On The Underground website.

If you've never encountered this, it's a bundle of fun - and something you too can have fun with if you have a copy of the Underground diagram and a pencil...
Basically people have found the shapes of all kinds of animals in the lines of the London Underground as they're displayed on Harry Beck's 'Diagram' - or 'map' as it's lazily referred to.
A few years back there were very few animals - I believe a guy called Paul Middlewick was the initiator of all this, but it seems to have blossomed more recently, and there's a whole page of them here...
And they've also got some cool merchandise, which helps fund IFAW.

Paddington Never Used To Be In Camden....

Cool / weird trick of the day...

Click on this link to go to Google Maps, or alternatively try putting '54 Great Russell St, Camden Town' into the Google Maps page...

Then click on "Street View".

Street View, it would appear, is not only an intrusion into privacy but also some kind of portal into an alternate universe.

Expenses Claim Completely Quackers

(*Taxpayers' money well-spent, don't you think...)

Sorry about the tabloid headline by the way. Couldn't help it.
The latest news on the expenses scandal is the revelation that those who are forced to quit over their thieving from the public purse are likely to get huge pay-offs and pensions... Given how the government has been so adept at rushing through 'emergency' legislation to try and curb our human rights I'll be shocked and disappointed if they don't rush something through to prevent such payouts.
Who am I kidding - I'll be not in the least bit surprised if they do bugger all.

Also, the ludicrous Douglas Hogg MP - from now on to be called Mr Moativator - has actually been bettered by another Tory stereotype, Sir Peter Viggers, who spent well over one and a half grand of our money on what has been described as either a "Duck Palace" or a "Duck Island" - one of which sounds like a Chinese restaurant and the other a very disappointing pirate movie. I personally think it's best described as a "fucking liberty".

The other update is that Hazel Blears' head is now considered to be in serious danger of falling off altogether. It's been madly bobbing around like a bladder on a stick for sometime now, but anyone seeing news reports from the last couple of days must surely be alarmed at the wild rocking and rotating that's developing. Like something out of the Exorcist really...
She needs some scaffolding round it, and sharpish too. But she can pay for it herself, the scheming old bat.

Tube "Departure Boards" on WWW & iPhone

(*Yes, it's always this much fun...)

Quite a nice new development from TFL, the people who bring you tube trains. Sometimes.
It's a new web tool called "Departure Boards" which as the name suggests, provides upcoming live train information in exactly the format you would see on the departure boards at any given station.
You simply select any station from any line, and - whoomph - there it is.
Excellent piece of work, and one that could only be seriously bettered if it were translated into a bespoke iPhone application; something which has in fact been done here by awavana.com - and very nice it is too.

Although the interface and execution are nice - and it is genuinely a great idea for communicating data, there does remain the question of the relevance and accuracy of the information itself. Let us not forget that last year the Departure Boards at Gunnersbury Station (District Line, Richmond Branch) were actually nominated for the 2008 Whitbread Prize For Fiction...



(*Okay; so that last bit was untrue... But only because nobody had the presence of mind to fill in a nomination form)

Point Of Order

Something that's becoming quite galling in the current "snouts in the trough" MPs' expenses scandal (and I can only apologise for any offence that might cause to pigs everywhere) is the repeated blame on the 'terrible system' (which, of course, they actually made up and oversee...) and the repeated squirming that they've always acted completely "within the rules".
In the case of Shahid Malik he said that he acted "one million percent within the rules" which suggests we can only be grateful they never gave him a job in the Treasury.

Anyhow - for his plasma screen telly and massage chair, and Douglas Hogg's moat-cleaning, and other poeple's toilet seats, lawnmowers, gardeners, Sky Sports subscriptions, luxury rocking chairs, dog food, tennis court repairs, prams, garage doors, tin openers, etc - there is actually a very simple test as to whether they were inside the rules or not...
You simply ask if they meet the requirements set out in Parliament's own Green Book - Section 1.3 - "Fundamental Principles".

It explicitly says this...
"Claims must only be made for expenditure that it was necessary for a Member to incur to ensure that he or she could properly perform his or her parliamentary duties."

I'd say that was pretty bloody black and white.

To me, even without all the additional clauses about avoiding any notion of impropriety I think I would have the common sense to know exactly what would and would not qualify.
I don't reckon I'd need to ask any Fees Office or anybody else for that matter. If MPs aren't capable of understanding that simple a statement then they are utterly unsuitable to be entrusted with any kind of role in governance and legislation. In fact if they can't understand that, they should really be shelf-stacking or spot-welding or something.

How To Make A Bad Situation Better

...Get Mark Thomas in on it, of course.
One of our finest today served legal papers on Michael Martin, Speaker of the House of Commons, and general arse.

Go Mark!

How To Make A Bad Situation Worse 101

(*Above: the modest second home of Douglas Hogg MP)

There's a lot to be learned, I've always held, not only from people's actions, but also their reactions.
In that respect the unfolding slow-motion car crash (or gravy-train crash) of our MPs' expenses scandal is proving hugely instructive.
If you or I pulled some of the fast ones that this sorry shower have done, we'd be in the slammer in no time.
Whereas somehow the MPs caught with their hands in the till (or more accurately, caught with their hands in your and my wallet) seem to think that:
1 - they actually haven't done anything they should apologise for, and...
2 - if they absolutely MUST apologise, then a sneering half-hearted and evasive little gobbet will suffice.

One person who of course actually *has* done something, and something positive, is David Cameron. However I can't really give him any credit for this as:
1 - He couldn't possibly do nothing when one of his mob had claimed for having his moat cleaned,
2 - It's probably primarily a cynical piece of PR, and...
3 - well, he's David Cameron isn't he.

Someone who has totally missed the opportunity to make a genuine or genuinely meaningful apology is PM Gordon Brown who instead had the brainwave of apologising for "the events of the last few days". Yes, that's right - he's saying that he's sorry that they all got found out. Not sorry for all the years of abuse. But just the last few days - the shitstorm of their own making.
And this wonderfully clumsy drivel was actually bettered by Harriet Harman (MP for Camberwell and Peckham and Junior Minister for Hypocrisy and Cant) who told Radio 4's Today programme "in our system we do not have the level of corruption that obtains in many other countries..." which basically means she thinks we're not quite as bad as Nigeria.
Which is nice.

Perhaps the most brazen and bizarre refusal to acknowledge what's wrong is from the Speaker of the House of Commons, Michael Martin. Rather than acknowledging the extent and good cause of public fury, he's mad at the media and any MPs who talk to the media, ranting away at poor old Kate Hoey in a threatening "See you Jimmy" style more suited to Rab C Nesbitt.
But then he has famously abused the system himself to a ludicrous extent.
Should he resign? I say No actually. No, he should stay - and look a complete tool and suffer the indignity of being sacked by other MPs trying to make themselves look slightly less awful than they really are.

Something that's quite strange in all this however is the number of letters to newspapers from people saying that we'd all do the same wouldn't we. It's human nature isn't it. We're no better.
What?
Sorry - but I *am* better, and so is pretty much everybody I know. And no I *wouldn't* do the same and nor would most people I know.
I don't know who these letter-writers may be, but either they're MPs writing in under false names, trying to excuse their actions, or they're just crap human beings with dismally low standards.
And the reason I - and pretty much everyone I know - wouldn't take the piss like the MPs have done has absolutely nothing to do with the risk of getting caught, or not having the opportunity to do so. No. It's because it's taking the piss and because it's wrong. And we - unlike those who govern us, apparently - happen to know the difference between right and wrong, and we have some basic standards of decency and honesty.
And there's no self righteousness in that, and no pomposity. It's just what being a basically decent human being is all about.

Finally, of all the issues (and they all need fixing - pronto, and properly) the one that apparently is most contentious and cannot be agreed upon is the second homes allowance.
The solution is of course easy. MPs should be put up in a block of serviced apartments. Fittings and fixtures - and access to satellite porn channels - could easily be organised and accounted for, and security would be a doddle. it could be near Westminster, or if they can wait till 2012, then there's going to be an Olympic Athlete's Village freed up.
As that meerkat on the advert says... "Simples".



Oh, and I'm sorry, but who has a fucking *MOAT* in the 21st century for chrissakes???
I mean, really...

Shut Up, For The Love Of God Man, Shut The Hell Up

Lewis Comes Back Down To Earth

Although I tend to label myself an ex-F1 Fan nowadays, I must admit that I've found myself watching a bit of racing this season. I'd have probably watched a bit more if most of the Sepang race hadn't taken place under cover of tarpaulins on a monsoon-hit main straight in the dark. But nonetheless it *has* been kind of entertaining.

Apart from the continuing fairytale of Brawn GP, one of the funniest - yet also hugely grating - things has to be continuing disintegration of the sainthood of Saint Lewis Hamilton. And his outburst following today's Spanish GP just continued to confirm the kind of driver McLaren can be so proud of, repeatedly bitching about the car again and again.
I don't think I've encountered such a prissy whinge since my mum last read me "The Princess And The Pea". And I wasn't too impressed by the attitude then either...

In my decades following F1, I've continued to see pretty much all drivers - and certainly all the best drivers - intimately involved with the development of their machinery; ever more so as F1 technology became more and more sophisticated. Guys such as Schumacher and Hakkinen had great reputations in this respect, and don't forget Anthony Davidson whose technical input and driver feedback on the track and in the factory was famously highly regarded over the years.

So, since when did it become okay to just turn up and drive?
And bitch if things aren't going swimmingly?
I'd love to know, as to me it just looks slack and demeaning - and certainly not the attitude worthy of a world champion... (It also makes you think again about all the denials that Hamilton used to just copy 'Nando's setups at each race back in '07...)
Let's be honest, the guy has had a supreme set of wheels the past couple of years - and managed to lose a championship in one of them - and he can't expect things to always be perfect. Surely he was in some way a part of the development team for the car? (And if not, why not...) And surely his best move would be to button it (no pun) and lend some energy and driver input to making a better job of it.

The immature attitude - and the apparent belief that he merely needs to show up at the track - also makes me sad as it seems to be part and parcel of a diminishing McLaren team. I haven't always supported McLaren (my allegiance moved to Wolf when James Hunt did, and then to Ligier and Ferrari along with Didier Pironi, and so on and so on...) but I have always admired them in a huge way. And their continuing disintegration around their superstar is nothing short of tragic.

McLaren need a genuinely stellar figurehead back in place (and that's not Lewis's dad) and a team that functions as a team for a greater purpose than a single (and possibly undeserving) prima donna of a driver.
And they really need to keep Lewis away from the microphone more often.
Ideally by getting him to help work on the car.
But just keeping him away from the microphone anyway would be a good start.

Trust In The You Of Now

I've been working on the music again. Sadly not prepped enough to get on with the actual *proper* Smallcreep work, but still just fitting in sessions to better acquaint myself with Logic 8.
And today that's resulted in another piece that I'm happy enough to put out for general consumption. It's a seven minute piano improvisation (with just a couple of overdubs of pre-delayed note washes to fill it out) that's just very very peaceful; very typical of my improv work really; recorded in almost total darkness, just me playing against the silence - and probably something that might appeal to anyone who likes folks such as Lyle Mays, Keith Jarrett or Mark Hollis. As with the previous tune it's been given a name derived from the superb Brian Eno / Phil Schmidt tool "Oblique Strategies", which I've had a history of using on many projects - from design to music to writing.

The piece is called "trust in the you of now" and you can download it here...

Enjoy.

Wooshy-Wooshy-Woo

What is it with pandas? Why are they so unfeasibly adorable? Why do we love them so much, when they seem to be genetically predisposed to their own utter oblivion? (Pandas are all impotent, and they lie on their backs 19 hours a day only to get up, eat bamboo that they can't actually digest, have a fag and go back to sleep... Fact...)
Maybe it's because I was given one on the day I was born - not a real one you understand, that would be absurd even in my family circles - but, because I had one from the start that saw me through my childhood (and even today is stowed away somewhere in a cupboard) that I have a peculiar emotional attachment to the fluffsters and sets of photos like these reduce me to being able to say little other than "Awwwwwwww" for stupid amounts of time. I'm a grown-up for christ's sake...

There was a time when their precarious position in the equation of survival/extinction was symbolic in a very singular way of man's relationship with nature. Sadly now there are hundreds of other species lining up to be the poster-boys of mass extinction. Not only have we largely failed those, like the panda, that needed the most obvious help - but we've managed to needlessly endanger thousands more. Idiots.

May The 4th Be With You

If you didn't know, today is Star Wars Day...

Come On Barbie, Let's Get Tarty

Apparently in another civilisation-ending moment in history (certainly I would imagine for Daily Mail readers) Barbie has got a tattoo. The slut.
In fact, look closely at the picture and you'll see that she's also had some special tribal scarring to spell out the word 'Indonesia' on her bared torso.
Now I think about it, she's probably got the clap too - the dirty mare...

And Another Hurrah!

A sarcastic one this time...
One £285m mortgage rescue scheme. One family helped...
Incidentally, on a note completely unrelated to such absurdities, shit policies and awful mismanagement of the country, foreign policy and international affairs, New Labour celebrates 12 years in power today.

The News Quiz Is Back. Hurrah!

Great news - the smug, self-satisfied Now Show steps aside and in its place Radio 4's "News Quiz" returns tonight; Friday May 1st at 6.30pm (repeated Saturday at 12.30pm) - its superbly skewed weekly take on the world returning for an almost unbelievable *68th* series...
Sandi Toksvig chairs, and panellists include Andy Hamilton, Fred MacAulay and Jeremy Hardy.
There should be plenty to poke fun at...
If you don't catch it on the radio, then don't forget you can subscribe to it as a podcast on iTunes.

Random Pic: Chiswick Park

Just a nice catch of a couple of Piccadilly Line trains speeding through Chiswick Park tube station, as I was waiting for the District Line back into town after drinks last night.

Kind of nice textures, colour and vibe courtesy of the iPhone's idiosyncratic camera...