Saturday, June 27, 2009

One In The Eye...


Cool - Private Eye have published a "Colemanballs" I sent in, in the current issue - 1239.
It's one of the many clangers from Eurosport stand-in MotoGP commentator Carlton Kirby from the Catalunya GP a couple of weeks back....
"Two Spanish flags for the crowd to see – one of them Japanese… "

He's seriously awful though. I should have just sent them a tape of all 3 races and let them publish the lot.
Thankfully the marvellous Toby Moody and Julian Ryder were back on the case this weekend at Assen - despite it being a bit of a downer for my hero Alvaro Bautista in the 250cc race. I say 'bit of a downer' - it was a real huuuuuuuuuge downer actually.
Still - could have been worse... Carlton Kirby could have been commentating too.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Testing, Testing

Just trying out a blogging app for the iPhone; it's called BlogPress. If it works then this should be a picture of Desmond Lynham apparently drowned in the lake at Chiswick Park.
Seems to be a nice app and may well be useful on travels and on MotoGP trips.
I need to move though, as lots of threatening ducks are closing in...


-- Posted From iPhone

Deadline


Post-its... one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century. Stop-motion... sublime in the right hands (Ray Harryhausen, Vision-On, Sledgehammer, Creature Comforts...)
Put them together - in the form of a senior Art & Design School project by Bang-​yao Liu and you have "Deadline", a wonderfully playful and imaginative take on procrastination and pressure.
Triffick :-)


Thursday, June 18, 2009

This Is What Transparency Looks Like Apparently




And there's a whole gallery of black marker pen here to show just how embarrassed and shameless this sorry bunch truly are. And, no it's *nothing* to do with security - and it's an insult to even try that excuse on with the public.

Oh, and snippet of the day so far is almost irony-redefining gem from shadow chancellor George Osborne who claimed £47 of our hard-earned cash to pay for two copies of a DVD of his own speech on 'Value for Taxpayers Money'.
Genius.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sucky Tattoos


Whilst it's not really okay to laugh at the girl who accidentally got almost 60 stars tattooed over her face (well, it kind of is actually - she looks about 12 and shouldn't be allowed within a mile of a tattooist for at least another 6 years...) - it absolutely *IS* okay to laugh at this sorry shower over at YourTattooSucks.com... my personal favouite being the cat's one-eye in your belly button. Class.


Cats Outsmart Scientists By Pretending To Be Thick

This piece in the Guardian, reporting on a scientific “test” that proudly puffs out that cats are actually not that bright, is of course entirely wrong.

That a cat will not co-operate with an insultingly banal examination of its behaviour is not in the least bit surprising. Quite frankly I’d give them some misleading results and have a good old snigger about it if I was a cat. In fact I'd probably have a crap in their lunchboxes on the way out too, just for good measure.

Cats know perfectly well about all kinds of behaviour - that of live beings and that of inanimate objects - and they certainly understand cause and effect (mine have learned to open doors, find and conceal escape routes out of the garden, all kinds of smart and sophisticated stuff that requires cause and effect to be understood) and my money here would be on them outsmarting the scientists by refusing to do what’s expected of them and royally fucking with a stupid experiment that they rightly feel to be beneath them.

As one commenter wryly (& correctly) points out; “Dogs have owners, cats have staff”.

Anyway it’s as good an excuse as any to post up Eddie Izzard’s “Pavlov’s Cat” routine...




Apple iPhone 3.0 Out Today


All excited. Don't forget that today is the iPhone 3.0 software update - nice review of some top features here at Cult of Mac - and of course for those that have more money than sense (I usually include myself in that bracket, but not this time) then there's the costly upgrades of the iPhone itself also becoming available imminently.
This time though I reckon cost far outweighs worth and will be giving it a miss. Much as I want 32Gb of storage for music and movies, dammit.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

iPhone App Download Hyperwall

Hyperwall in WWDC 2009, Live from App Store from Imagebakery on Vimeo.


Yes, it's another utterly unfathomable headline...
Geeky but fun - this is a "hyperwall" (apparently) at this week's Apple Worldwide Developers' Conference (WWDC) showcasing the popularity of iPhone apps, with a selection of around 20,000 of them pulsing and sending out ripples across a matrix of twenty 30" Cinema Displays as they are sold in realtime.
Somewhere in the region of 3,000 apps are downloaded every minute incidentally...


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

More Music - In Transit


I’ve uploaded another piece of music; again under the “Rain Dogs” monicker.
It’s something that I’d kind of done before - but was never 100% satisfied with... It’s called “in transit” and originally the main groove was done in a patch that was basically something like treated white noise. Also the trumpet sound that I used wasn’t the best (although it was very nice).

Now, using Logic 8 and with the help of the software synths like Smapletank and Absynth, I’ve been able to revisit it - and have pulled apart the groove into a number of separate elements of things like dulled metallic hits and strangely EQ’d toms with an extreme ping-ponging left-right delay on them, and found a great muted jazz trumpet patch to work with (and a nice CP80 piano sound) - and as a result I’ve found it relatively easy to go back and strip down and completely reinvent the arrangement.
It's now totally what I had in my head originally. And that's a good thing.

The last couple of nights I’ve been doing the annoying bit of trying to sort out the detail of the final mixdown and to master it very carefully without losing the vibe/feel of the whole thing in the process.
I think I’ve done it, and if you want to hear the result, you can download “in transit” here...

Enjoy.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Cheap Gag Of The Day


Fnarr Fnarr...
Thanks to Chris


"The Excrescence" - Bell At His Best


The utterly awesome Steve Bell on the rise of the BNP in last week's elections...




Monday, June 8, 2009

Guardian Writer Spots Upside To BNP Victory

Despite the fact that opening sentence includes the words "Britain has finally voted in a fascist leader" here is a remarkably upbeat assessment of how the BNP's election victories can allow them to be put under closer scrutiny and for their racist, fascistic shitwit agenda to be properly exposed.

It's appalling that they have been able to gain ground (although it's only slightly reassuring to know that their vote actually wnet down from 2004 - and therefore the gains are at the predictable expense of the mainstream and particularly Labour, in the midst of the current meltdown). Sadly Labour have also made their stance more acceptable by not challenging it as bollocks, but pandering to the worst instincts of those the BNP try to frighten and lurched further and further to the loathsome right themselves.

And Andy Burnham is wrong when he says that whatever happens, the BNP is not the answer. They are, in one and only one particular instance, definitely the answer... And that is when the question is "I'm a complete cunt, who should I vote for?"
And only then.


Pint Of Hemlock & A Packet Of Crisps Please


A new theory on the exact nature of Socrates' death - and to what extent he brought it on himself - is revelaed today in a new book by Cambridge University prefessor, Paul Cartledge.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Parrot Fashion


Despite the utter meltdown in government and in the local & EU elections (BNP taking a Lancashire county council seat for chrissake...) Labour MPs will be glad to know that they don't have to really think too hard about what's happening to them - and what they're inflicting on us.
No, they can just check the brains in at the door as per usual and rely on this handy cribsheet of patronising homilies, soundbites and deflections to use should they be required to give their own opinion...
It's like a very long version of Bullshit Bingo.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

MotoGP.com Release Awesome iPhone App


I have a (possibly ever-so slightly deserved) reputation as a bit of a geek / nerd / saddo when it comes to anything Mac or iPhone related. So, imagine my joy then, when I was pointed at a dedicated iPhone app from MotoGP.com

Let's face it, MotoGP and Dorna have been way more innovative, smart and genuinely rewarding in their approach to online delivery than F1 - and far better at doing something of genuine interest to punters.
And so perhaps this is no great surprise. Doesn't mean that it's not worth a bit of a rave though...
It's a thoroughly tasty piece of work from start to finish, playing both to their own strengths in content and data, and the iPhone's strengths in interface and usability.

The key to it of course is dynamic data - in this case, live timing with race lap, rider position, lap time, gap time, and top speed. And nice touches like rotating the iPhone into 'horizontal' position to get a full live timing view, and live commentary from the MotoGP crew as well.
The app also provides access to race results, championship results, latest news, rider profiles, competition calendars and schedules, and a huge photo gallery.
Aside from all the good functionality, it also has the MotoGP.com excellent branding DNA, and attention to detail, in buckets. It's one of the slickest looking apps I've seen. (*And I've seen more than enough to prove I should get out more...)

To be honest it's a steal at only £1.79 and certainly an invaluable addition to the tech tools of anyone who loves MotoGP and their gadgets.

For some bizarre reason MotoGP.com have disabled 'embedding' of their Youtube demo of the app - which is a real shame as it'd be nice to just plonk it on the page here and share it on other sites and blogs, but if you click on this link then you can watch it anyway...

Finally, if you need no further persuading then just click here to go directly to the app in iTunes...