Singabore

(*Even Streatham Raceway's kiddie kart track pisses on the Singapore F1 circuit.)

The most entertaining thing about the weekend's F1 race in Singapore?
Without a doubt, Bernie Ecclestone avoiding Jake Humphrey's questions on BBC by pretending to be a dribbling imbecile.
Whilst Jake (who I must admit I'm warming to) actually had the dangly bits to ask some serious full-on questions to Bernie (unlike the lamentable Eddie Jordan who simply stood next to him like a grinning idiot version of Peter Griffin's dad off Family Guy) F1's elder-eldest statesman simply disintegrated into chewing his lips off, glancing around like he didn't know where he was, and simply repeating the questions and random words back at him; presumably in a desperate effort to try and confuse the interviewer.

Pathetic.

As was the race. Dull as ditchwater.

The thing is that it's absolutely unforgivable that the race should be boring, and certainly that it should be boring to watch. They spend kazillions of trillions of billions of dollars making it happen - and starting work on next year's track before this year's race has even happened and all those kind of ludicrous statistics. Buzzing city. Blazing lights. Blah blah, bleedin' blah... What does it look like to the millions who've tuned in to watch it around the world (and probably from other worlds according to the PR hyperbole)...?
It looks like a flat dirty sidestreet surrounded by concrete walls and mile-high fencing.
Astonishing.
All that money, all that effort, all that time and preparation, and it looks like somewhere very grubby between Brixton and Loughborough Junction. Shameful.
Marginally less impressive than the Streatham Raceway. Which is where it should be relocated to in F1's budget-cutting moves. Nobody would notice the difference.

Has Eddie Jordan Just Libelled Fernando Alonso?

"The World Motor Sport Council concludes that Mr. Alonso was not in any way involved in Renault F1's breach of the regulations."
FIA statement, 22_09_09

"Alonso clearly cheated"
Eddie Jordan, on 'PM', Radio 4, 22_09_09

Now when I compare those two statements - and bear in mind that Eddie Jordan's was a reaction to the FIA statement and ruling - I'm left with the distinct impression that surely Fernando Alonso could make a tidy few quid by ringing his lawyers right now.
Jordan has been an utter pillock on the BBC coverage this year - one of the few truly awful things about the BBC's basically decent F1 product - but by any standards this is surely a total clanger.

The context in which he made it was that he was saying that Frank Williams should still be angry because his driver came second in the 2008 Singapore GP (which Alonso won, and which was the race that "Crashgate" / Nelsongate" etc revolves around)...
Now saying that Alonso's first place might be sullied by the fact the scandal surrounding the machinations of Briatore, Symonds and Piquet Jnr is one thing - but it is a very very different matter indeed to maintain that "Alonso clearly cheated", especially when the FIA (mad and inconsistent bunch of freaks that they are) have just exonerated him 100% in the matter a mere 2 or 3 hours earlier.

To me it's just another sign that Jordan should shut the hell up and go away for good. (Unless of course he actually meant to say anything remotely like what blurted out of his mouth...? In which case he should be telling us exactly *how* Alonso clearly cheated, surely - or presenting his evidence to the FIA...?)
But it'd be hellish funny to see Alonso's lawyers take him to the cleaners on the way.

If you think I've misheard something that patently would be too ridiculous to say then check out the programme on the BBC's iPlayer here at about 38 mins 20 secs in...

Anthony Davidson Back Behind The Wheel

I was hugely disappointed when Ant Davidson slipped out of F1 with the collapse of the Super Aguri team in 2008. He was always one of my favourite drivers of the modern era; a great racer and a great developer/tester too... your kind of ideal man in any team really.
(And also someone pretty much devoid of ego - very refreshing and likeable in today’s F1).
The good news - apart from the fact that he’s a brilliant commentator (press your red button on the BBC’s F1 coverage and get swapping the audio channel to him and David Croft on Radio 5 Live!) is that he still has his hand in as a driver, and now there’s some great news of his entering one of motorsport’s legendary annual events this coming month.

Aston Martin Racing recently confirmed that Ant will be one of three new drivers recruited to enable the team to run a trio of Gulf-liveried LMP1 cars at this year’s Le Mans 24 Hours, which marks the 50th anniversary of Aston Martin’s first victory at La Sarthe in 1959. Joining the existing Aston Martin drivers along with Ant will be Stuart Hall (GB) and Jos Verstappen (NL).
Ant recently tested Aston Martin’s LMP1 car in Portugal, completing three one-hour stints and is a familiar face in this category of motorsport as he worked with the team in 2003, racing at Le Mans, Sebring and Petit Le Mans in the GT class.

“Particularly as a British driver, racing for a team as prestigious as Aston Martin is a fantastic opportunity,” says Ant... “I know the team and its capabilities extremely well from the past, and I’m convinced that there is nobody better prepared to tackle all the challenges that Le Mans will present us with. At the test I felt comfortable with the car straight away, and now I’m looking forward to taking the fight to the other teams at Le Mans. I’m certainly aiming for us to be the quickest petrol car there and hopefully we can get in amongst the diesels as well.”

The Le Mans 24 Hours race takes place on 13-14 June.

Best of luck Ant - hope you do brilliantly :-)

Shut Up, For The Love Of God Man, Shut The Hell Up

Lewis Comes Back Down To Earth

Although I tend to label myself an ex-F1 Fan nowadays, I must admit that I've found myself watching a bit of racing this season. I'd have probably watched a bit more if most of the Sepang race hadn't taken place under cover of tarpaulins on a monsoon-hit main straight in the dark. But nonetheless it *has* been kind of entertaining.

Apart from the continuing fairytale of Brawn GP, one of the funniest - yet also hugely grating - things has to be continuing disintegration of the sainthood of Saint Lewis Hamilton. And his outburst following today's Spanish GP just continued to confirm the kind of driver McLaren can be so proud of, repeatedly bitching about the car again and again.
I don't think I've encountered such a prissy whinge since my mum last read me "The Princess And The Pea". And I wasn't too impressed by the attitude then either...

In my decades following F1, I've continued to see pretty much all drivers - and certainly all the best drivers - intimately involved with the development of their machinery; ever more so as F1 technology became more and more sophisticated. Guys such as Schumacher and Hakkinen had great reputations in this respect, and don't forget Anthony Davidson whose technical input and driver feedback on the track and in the factory was famously highly regarded over the years.

So, since when did it become okay to just turn up and drive?
And bitch if things aren't going swimmingly?
I'd love to know, as to me it just looks slack and demeaning - and certainly not the attitude worthy of a world champion... (It also makes you think again about all the denials that Hamilton used to just copy 'Nando's setups at each race back in '07...)
Let's be honest, the guy has had a supreme set of wheels the past couple of years - and managed to lose a championship in one of them - and he can't expect things to always be perfect. Surely he was in some way a part of the development team for the car? (And if not, why not...) And surely his best move would be to button it (no pun) and lend some energy and driver input to making a better job of it.

The immature attitude - and the apparent belief that he merely needs to show up at the track - also makes me sad as it seems to be part and parcel of a diminishing McLaren team. I haven't always supported McLaren (my allegiance moved to Wolf when James Hunt did, and then to Ligier and Ferrari along with Didier Pironi, and so on and so on...) but I have always admired them in a huge way. And their continuing disintegration around their superstar is nothing short of tragic.

McLaren need a genuinely stellar figurehead back in place (and that's not Lewis's dad) and a team that functions as a team for a greater purpose than a single (and possibly undeserving) prima donna of a driver.
And they really need to keep Lewis away from the microphone more often.
Ideally by getting him to help work on the car.
But just keeping him away from the microphone anyway would be a good start.

A Damp (And Oily) Squib

One final twist in the ludicrous "Hamilton in a Mercedes racing a man on a bicycle" event at this year's Race of Champions...
It didn't happen due to the track being a bit damp and oily.
Who could possibly have predicted that an open-air motorsports event in the middle of December might lead to a damp and oily track?

Is 'publicity stunt' rhyming slang?

Daily Mail in 'Talking Complete Bollocks' Shocker

It's not for nothing that the excellent Charlie Brooker refers to the Daily Mail as a 'How-To Guide For Idiots, published in daily instalments'... It's almost a pleasure to see it spontaneously combusting about the Euro, Europe in general, foreigners, muslims, gays, single mothers, video games, and pretty much most things that make up our world.

So it's great fun to come across a sports editorial blurb in today's copy, berating F1's environmental credentials...
"The truth is Formula One is as environmentally friendly as a flatulent Jeremy Clarkson burning a fridge full of plastic bags in the Sizewell B nuclear reactor."

It's always a giggle to see the Daily Mail launch into a tirade that begins with the phrase "the truth is..." - mostly as it's as sure a sign of a lie as someone who habitually starts sentences with "I'm not a racist but..."
The Mail and the truth inhabit very different worlds; one very real (and indeed truthful), the other a bit rabid and angry and mad.

Anyway - back to the point of this... the Mail is either very dumb or deliberately misleading readers here. (Or probably both - that appears to be their strong point...)
The Formula One circus has been carbon-neutral since around 1997; a fact revealed qiute modestly and unexpectedly by Max Mosley in 2006 - and something he clearly should have been shouting about to help shut up ignorant twats like the Mail who are never happier than when they're furious about something. And I haven't seen much environmental campaigning from them by the way. Gits.

Anyhoo - just wanted to set the record straight.
Daily Mail, sod off.

Courageous Hamilton Aims To Prove Mercedes Faster Than Bicycle

The annual Race of Champions event is coming up again soon - Dec 14th at Wembley to be precise; and it looks to be a cracking tournament featuring the likes of Michael Schumacher, Sebastian Vettel, Jenson Button, Andy Priaulx, Mark Webber, Troy Bayliss, Sebastian Loeb, and David Coulthard in battle against each other in the tarmac-shod stadium.
One luminary, and indeed champion, who won’t apparently be taking part in that battle though is Lewis Hamilton.

However - in a genuinely baffling PR event that can only belittle him as far as I can see - rather than competing with the likes of Schumacher, Coulthard, Button et al on pretty equal terms, Hamilton (the current F1 champion and British media darling) will instead be driving a big bloody Mercedes sports car in a race with a bicycle. Seriously.

In PR terms, surely this is an unholy fart of a gesture... Not only does he not behave in the spirit of the event (and the spirit of a champion) by avoiding competing with his peers (when he’s clearly available!), he also competes on completely unequal terms in another event. An event that is basically lose-lose whatever the outcome on the ground. If the sports car beats the pedal bike then the obvious and presumably only reaction is “well of course he beat it - it’s a frikkin’ bike!”. If however he loses, even though the bicycle is obviously going to be a nice one, and be ridden by olympic cyclist Chris Hoy, the fact remains that it’s a bloke pedalling a bicycle. And he’s beaten a bloody great sports car. Driven by Lewis Hamilton.
See? Lose-Lose... Not as preposterously hilarious as when he “flew” posing as Apollo at this year’s Turkish GP perhaps, but still thought up and taken on with a degree of idiocy and crassness that almost demands admiration.

If he could manage to lower himself to compete with someone as lowly as 7-times world champion Schumacher however, it might look really good as PR. Win-Win in fact...

Max Mosley Sticks It To Paul Dacre

(*Above: Max Mosley - Respect!)

Whilst I deplore Max Mosley for squandering many opportunities to save the sport that I loved for so long, I can't help but rejoice at him sticking it to the contemptible Paul Dacre in this Comment Is Free piece.
"Squalid" is a perfect word for the way the Mail - and the rest of the gutter press behave over their seamy exposures in 'the public interest' - as should be transparently obvious to anyone with half a brain, and Dacre's hypocritical cant is given a prefect "Sod Off" by Max in this article - encouragingly supported by many of the comment posters below it.
Mosley's setting aside of what is surely considerable embarrassment to stand his ground on serious questions of *genuine* rights and morality (as opposed to Dacre's grotty little excuses to sell more of his rags) is wonderful.

Good on you Max :)
(Shame about F1 being crap though....)

New Minichamps Magazine

As well as the usual advance listings, the Minichamps website currently has a really nice magazine for download, which includes and interesting article comapring an old model release (the McLaren MP4/12 - in both 1/18 scale and 1/43 scale - with the MP4/22.)

You can download it by clicking here...

Enjoy :)

Putting F1 Behind Me...

After the best part of a year-off from my F1 websites - kimistuff.com and antdavidson.com - I’ve finally reached the sad conclusion that it’s time to close them down.
I have tried to “come back” to F1 during this season, but really can’t bring myself to like it anymore. I used to love it; god knows I’ve watched it for years and years. But now I just hate the sight of it, and can’t ever imagine liking it again.
Bright side - seeing Kimi finally become World Champ as he so richly deserved, and also seeing Ant Davidson actually on the grid (though sadly in a back-of-the-grid team when he deserved much better).

Anyway, having discussed it with the other admins who’ve helped me run the sites over the years, I’ve finally made the decision to shut them down at the end of the season.
There’s plenty of downloads on them, so I’ve put up a note to all the forum members alerting them to this and giving them as much time as possible to take any downloads and other content they want.

Although it’s sad, they’ve been great places to be, and I’ve made some great friends on them - some of whom are now on Batifans.com for example and who I’ll continue to be friends with. I'll also continue to be happy for Kimi and Ant in whatever successes they may have, and will continue my interest in F1 diecasts (mainly historical).
And some of my writing on the subject - specifically from the weekly "Motormouth" column I used to write for Teletext - remains online and can be found here...
But for the sport itself, and for the sites I built to accompany my passion, it's over.
It’s been a great ride, but it’s finally reached the end.